Recognizing Your Worth: The Value of Your Work and Self
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Chapter 1: Understanding Your Value
For a long time, I was the type of person who offered my skills and talents without charge. I thought I was being generous, but countless individuals left with free prose, artwork, tarot readings, and various other gifts I provided, often to those I barely knew.
This led me to introspect: "Was my generosity solely because they requested it? Should I place the blame on them, or is it on me?" It's never easy to confront one’s own reflection, is it? Low self-esteem can drive us to seek validation from others, sometimes leading us to give away our creative work for nothing. Sadly, I found myself in this situation, and if you’re a writer, you might relate. We crave appreciation for our creations, but at what expense?
As we navigate life, we learn important lessons. One realization I had is that kindness can be misguided if it harms us, regardless of the benefit it brings to others. Furthermore, kindness loses its essence when it’s motivated by a desire for validation. Offering our creations for free, merely to impress someone or to seek approval, often leads to negative consequences. Not only do we miss out on fair compensation for our efforts, but we also foster relationships where others feel entitled to take from us without giving anything in return.
I've previously voiced my concerns about the expectation for spiritual services like tarot or reiki to be offered for free, which hasn't always made me popular. Many believe that "gifts shouldn't be monetized," which is a nice sentiment, but how do we sustain ourselves?
I’ll reiterate a point I’ve made in other discussions, and I suspect it will resonate here as well. You, dear reader, might be more open to this idea, particularly since you likely haven’t faced the same ostracism for wanting to be compensated for your writing. Isn’t writing just as valuable a gift as reading tarot or performing music? When you consider it that way, the distinction becomes less clear.
Consider this scenario: you’ve been visiting your doctor for over a decade and assume your consultation should be free. That wouldn’t happen, would it? Or think of the hairdresser you’ve known since your teenage years—would you expect them to cut your hair without charge? It seems absurd, yet people often assume they can request a poem or preview an unpublished novel without compensation.
Some argue that since nothing tangible is exchanged, there’s no reason to pay. True, you might buy the book once it’s published, but merely reading it doesn’t confer ownership. Yet, people readily pay for services where no physical goods are exchanged, such as medical diagnoses. You can’t touch a diagnosis, but you’d still pay a premium for it, especially without insurance. Why should creative work be treated any differently? It shouldn’t.
When I finally embraced my identity as a writer at the age of 40, I started to refer to myself as an author and noted my accomplishments in my biography, including being an award-winning journalist and published poet. Modesty won’t advance my career; I must stop equating the acknowledgment of my achievements with bragging. I’ve earned my place and recognition through hard work, and I have no reason to downplay it.
Once you shed the fear of offending others and begin to claim your identity, you’ll see that your work, your creativity, and your time hold significant value. Although it may seem tempting to offer your talents for free to fit in or please others, resist that urge. Submitting work "for exposure" is also a misguided choice. You are a craftsman of words, a healer of narratives, and you possess a unique gift that deserves recognition.
In this spirit, I shared the following on my Facebook page:
If you connect with this sentiment, feel free to share it on your own platform. It can serve as a catalyst for realizing your worth. You'll find that expressing love to friends and family while asserting the value of your contributions can invigorate you. Speak these words aloud, and I’ll join you: We are worth it.
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Section 1.1: The Importance of Valuing Your Work
Valuing your work is crucial not only for your own self-esteem but also for establishing boundaries in your relationships. When you recognize the worth of your contributions, you set a precedent for how others perceive and treat you.
Subsection 1.1.1: Embracing Your Identity
Section 1.2: The Dangers of Over-Giving
When you give away your work for free, you risk undervaluing your talent and skills. This not only affects your self-worth but also alters the dynamics of your relationships with others.
Chapter 2: Reclaiming Your Worth
In the video "Your Value is NOT Tied to Your Work | Simon Sinek," Simon discusses the significance of understanding that your worth is intrinsic and should not be defined by your job or achievements.
The video "Things You Can Do To Show Your Value In The Workplace" offers practical advice on how to assert your worth professionally without compromising your integrity.