Chapter 1: The Resilient Dreamer

You have consistently sought the silver lining in this world. Even when life threw challenges your way, you managed to seek out lessons or glimmers of positivity amid the shadows. Your spirit radiated with curiosity and hope. At eighteen, the future was a mystery filled with possibilities, and you cherished carefree nights with friends and days brimming with laughter. You never envisioned life becoming this complicated, yet here you are, still that dreamer, ever on the quest for meaning and chasing aspirations.

Reflecting on my younger self, I hope she would feel a sense of pride in who I have become today. Admittedly, there have been moments over the past two years when I struggled to feel proud of myself. I often find myself revisiting pivotal decisions that brought me to this point. I now recognize numerous instances when I ignored my instincts, driven by a desire for love and happiness. My first instinct warned me of a troubling connection, followed by doubts about his faithfulness and character. I often dismissed these feelings, and I'm still exploring why I chose to overlook them.

The realization struck me today: this man never truly loved me; he was enamored with the way I made him feel and what he could extract from me. He exploited my kindness and crushed my spirit. Whenever I expressed my needs, he responded with disdain, choosing to prioritize his desires over my emotional well-being. His affection was conditional, and my existence revolved around his whims. Acknowledging this truth is liberating. Not only did he fail to love me, but I also failed to love myself. I would never allow anyone I care for to endure such treatment. Now, I cherish myself more than ever, a love that is unshakeable.

Detaching from this relationship has been a cathartic and liberating experience. My fear of him is dissipating as I recognize his weakness. He is a man whose words seldom align with his actions, reliant on others to do the heavy lifting. In contrast, I am embracing life with an intensity and passion I never knew existed within me. Every moment is a step toward my future or an opportunity for self-care. I am honoring myself in various ways, reclaiming the time I lost to him. Now, I am pursuing studies and achieving dreams I’ve held for over a decade; it feels empowering. I am reading books I longed to explore, embarking on adventures with friends, and reveling in the freedom to be my authentic self.

I am rediscovering that girl full of dreams—the one who finds magic in the mundane. I feel a lightness in knowing that if I keep my heart open, I will be provided for. I see the good in people lifting each other up, and I am inspired to do the same. That girl has endured much over the past two decades; she might have chosen a different path if given the chance. However, I hope she realizes those years were essential training, teaching her what she does not want to become and the types of individuals she should avoid. She has experienced darkness and recognized that it is not her place to save everyone.

The lessons emerged during moments of intense sorrow, where she fell to her knees, tears streaming down her face, experiencing raw emotion that ultimately led to her liberation. From this journey, I now perceive the world and my potential within it.

I could have succumbed to despair, especially in recent years when life’s challenges felt overwhelming. Yet, there’s a resilience within me, rooted in that girl who had been hurt but knew to safeguard her essence. As people fell away from my life, I was able to embrace my true self without shame or guilt. Others will continue to try to mold me into their vision of who I should be, but those voices will no longer hold sway over me. I am content to stand alone.

For the first time in decades, I can proudly declare, “This is who I am.” If others cannot accept the truth of who I’ve become, they are welcome to step aside as I pursue my path. I refuse to feel shame for who I am or allow my worth to be dictated by anyone else’s opinions. I am prioritizing my well-being and setting myself free to explore life with curiosity, savoring every moment and breath. If someone does not wish me well, I ask them to let me be. I am ready to shine in the authenticity of my being.

Chapter 2: Embracing New Dreams

"The Girl Of Your Dreams" by me (14) explores the yearning for self-discovery and the journey of finding one's true identity amidst challenges and societal expectations.

YONAS - Pocket Full of Dreams captures the essence of hope and perseverance, encouraging listeners to hold onto their aspirations in the face of adversity.